What, what. Oh thats right write.

1:) This task is insurmountable. What will I ever do to get past this.

2:) oh my goodness what shall I ever do.

3:) What, I cant give up. I’m special i know i am special. I’ve always felt I could make it. I might be able to figure this out… I hope I can figure  this out. I might be able to.

3:) didn’t I already do 3 ahhh

4:) what the heck was 3 about.

:05:) ahhh

6:) wait a sec I’ve been doing this same thing for a while.

7:) oh I just need to act in the way that’s productive torwords the ones I love. Why was I so  confused.. I’m older now and I just do what I’m supposed to. Doing what I should be doing is only what Is right. Maybe I should write about it.

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Sigh, love you

Have you ever felt you’ve died In the past, like your gonna die but some how you get through?

The emotions so strong at the time like there’s no way through.

I raise my glass deep in pain while I ask and know the answer is you.

Thank you my lord.

I love you.

Thankfully Jesus died, So that I might recover from my sin.

-I never thought I could love again- lost but not forgotten

A few months ago me and my brother wanted to walk to the gas station so we shut the gate and left… when I got back one of my biggest fears in having a dog came true. My dog some how forced her way through the gate. She probably tried to find us but the house was off of a main road that is really busy so it’s possable some one picked her up. I looked every where and did every thing I could but i couldn’t find her.

I’m still too sensitive to losing pets and things I grow attached to so I’ve been pretty downthe past few months. This is the second dog I’ve owned so I’ve learned a valuable lesson I can take away from having the blessing of being able to have her as my friend for a short amount of time.

Hopefully she found a new home with nice people. She was sweet and smart so hopefully she wouldn’t get put down at the dog pound-(I’m thinking negatively) but it would be awesome if they helped her get adopted. (I love the dog pound and animal shelters it’s a lot of fun to go  see all of the animals they help and take care of) I’m thinking it’s going to be a while before I take a new dog in. At least till I get a good house of my own any ways so there’s always volunteering at the animal rescue at least.
I don’t like crying and I didn’t cry at first but I cried in time and dealt with my feelings in my own way and with a little help from friends. The life of a pet isn’t comparable to human life so I can’t imagine what it must be like in the places around the world when I have trouble getting over a pet. I’m not much help but I pray every one can find help in all these situations with in themself and with family and friends to get through all of the senseless violence and every thing else going on. 

My dog running away reminds me of death and also faith in a way. I have faith she isn’t dead but I can’t be sure. I can’t see her or know exactly what happened after I lost her but I have faith she is in a better place regardless. 🙂 my faith in Jesus really helps because that’s where I first learned how to get through the general pain of loss. 

I should have been more responsible in keeping the gate secured.. and I thought It was.  There are steps to be certain but as I found out the hard way some times accidents happen.. and it’s possible some one opened the gate and took her but no matter what happened I’m glad I got to know her. 

Love, Grace and peace

Little tree meditating beside me.

​What do you aspire too?

Waiting in the soil.
Close by your parrent tree. 
Some do not have that comfort. 

Little tree while you mature.
Under the eye of who begot you.
My heart compels my mind 

You remind me of my true love
I miss my kids, I should call them.
I wish I was close by them right now. 

 I’m sure a tree could miss their kids just like me.  

Even when they are bigger older and smarter. 

They grow so fast don’t they?

Those jokes that you make that are like: your not my friend… Your my best friend. 

When I’m like I suck when I think about things I’ve done wrong or messed up. “But I’ve turned my life around.” or “I’m getting better at what I do for work or helping a family member.”  

I’ve been working on houses a bit more lately and had some free time so I finally had time to post something. I’m getting pretty good at fixing stuff in houses too. It’s fun learning new stuff and there’s nothing better then fixing things with your own two hands.

(I finally got rid of the high lighted area of this post. I just had to re-write it. Haha.)